You're fucked. Baby hyenas are two pounds. However, as animal penises, not all barnacles are equal. Baby dick or bust, basically. Have a big heart: The giraffe’s heart is 2 feet long, and weighs 24 pounds. The world's tallest land animal has lost 40 percent of its population in just 30 years, and recent reports show poaching and … An average human vs a giraffe I've discussed this a lot with my friends, and we've never reached a solid conclusion. Even Charles Darwin thought it was hot, marveling at the sheer size … It’s only two inches. Consider its size. Like 97 percent of aviary creatures, roosters sport a different kind of genitalia called a “cloaca.” It’s a nub. The giraf will notice you climbing unto stuff nearby so it might simply move away. It cannot sustain a lengthened chase. Orangutan: 2 InchesThere’s a reason why orangutans often have that sad, meek look on their faces. A giraffe's legs alone are taller than many humans—about 6 feet . The Giraffe (Giraffa camelopardalis) is the tallest land animal on earth, standing up to 6 metres- 20 feet in height. The human has very slim odds, unless it has a sharp weapon or it is very clever and in tip-top shape. Cocks don’t even deserve to be on this list of animal penises. Tell your friend he's retarded. Comparative anatomy of giraffe's and humans cardiovascular system The Cardiovascular System Four-chamber heart Giraffes and humans both have a four chamber heart which allows us to send our de-oxygenated blood to the cleaners-the lungs-and our oxygenated blood to the rest of the A person’s heart is much smaller – the size of a clenched fist, and weights only 11 ounces. Most likely scenario: Human attacks in some manner, one kick from giraffe and the human is fookin' rekt. If the giraffe is very agressive it might just turn at some point and kick your arse. Testicle size (from largest to smallest): 1. chimpanzee: largest 2. Much of that is due to its eye-popping turtle dong, which can grow to a highly respectable 12 inches. Female chimps are famously promiscuous, and they usually have more than three mates at a time. African bull elephants hold the title of the largest relative penis size in the animal kingdom. For that reason, the anatomy of a giraffe is quite amazing. A little “cloacal kiss” transfers the sperm into the female cloaca. A giraffe was moved from Egypt to Paris at the beginning of the 19th century as a sign of respect, warmth, and camaraderie between the two countries. Giraffes are the tallest of all land animals; males (bulls) may exceed 5.5 metres (18 feet) in height, and the tallest females (cows) are about 4.5 metres. Male Polar Bear Weight. Boasting the largest baculum (walrus boner) of any land mammal, their penis bones hide under 2,000 pounds of fat only to be unleashed when a voluptuous female is nearby. Rooster: 0 InchesIt’s ironic they call it a cock, because roosters ain’t got none. How Big is a Male Polar Bear- Male Polar Bear Size. A giraffe's neck alone is 6 feet (1.8 meters) long and weighs about 600 lbs. Learn all about these impressively tall mammals, including key species facts, their diet and best places to see them in their natural habitat in our expert giraffe guide. Walrus: 25 InchesUrban Dictionary defines “walrus penis” as a “greasy big choad-like penis with extra foreskin.” Accurate. It lets its noodle wave around in the sea like a lonely tentacle, and the female barnacle opens up its egg-bearing cavity to let it in. 1 offer from $1,624.90. [Casual] Human vs Giraffe (All Welcome) Who would win in a fight ... At their speed, you'd be lucky to get 2-3 aimed shots before they cross the field. Here you can see it using its penis to scratch its own back. Its penis is so big, one would think it impossible to escape predators with an inconvenient fifth leg. Just how tall is a giraffe and how do they drink? It stands almost 6 meters tall (19 feet) and can weigh up to 1,300 kilograms (about 2,800 pounds). This Alex character does sound pretty macho and ripped, though, he might just be able to pull it off. This tool helps you to compare visually sizes of different objects. While two male giraffes fight over a female, the Baobab pride plans an attack. A smaller population of lions lives in forests of western India. 2 feet. 4 Species / 5 Subspecies List. Well, a specimen of Argentine blueshell duck had a But I also hate to break it to you, but your penis pales in comparison to that of a pig, or even a green sea turtle for that matter. Come join our discussions, post your own battles and kick some ass! Polar bears found in Beaufort Sea have an average weight of around 992 lb i.e. The giraffe cannon bone is 75.5cm long, and the brachiosaur metacarpal is 57cm long, or 75.5% the length of the giraffe element. Look how ashamed it is. Take the Pacific gooseneck barnacle; its penis dwarfs in comparison. The long and powerful neck of giraffes is their most characteristic feature, measuring up to 6.5 feet in length and formed by seven cervical vertebrae as in other mammals, including the human being, but with the difference that each of vertebrae has a large size reaching up to 11 inches. monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b"monitoring_string = "d597bbac21cf40e24fffa6cecdf4d8c5 ". However, when looking at the anatomy of the human spine, you will find that, like the giraffe, humans have 7 cervical (neck) vertebrae. Barnacle: 25-50 InchesThere’s a reason why this immobile crustacean just sits there glued to a rock, needing not a job or a skillful pickup artist shtick. Hilariously, the process of mating involves the rooster getting behind the hen, placing its feet on her wings, holding her down and forcing her ass up. The Chelonia mydas is listed as endangered because it’s often the recipient of boat propeller bludgeonings; although, in theory, it’s possible for the green sea turtle penis to break cruise ship propellers if it gets entangled in them. My hands aren’t the same size because they’re at different distances from the camera, illustrating the age-old dictum that scale bars are not to be trusted. Compare human vs Elephant vs giraffe vs Ark vs Ark height visually. 7. The female hyena is more hung, more muscular, and as a result, more dominant than its male counterpart. Last scenario: Clever human in peak conditioning. With feet the size of dinner plates, they will give a swift kick to any predator trying to attack their young. A stub. Banana Slug: 6-9 InchesThe Latin name for the common banana slug, Ariolimax dilichophallus, literally translates to “long penis.” This gastropod’s pud is the same length as its body, however long it grows. Male orangutans are twice the size of female orangutans and are, thus, often the recipient of rape. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, beat the living shit out of eachother with their heads, Giraffes are the tallest animals on Earth. A giraffe can eat 63 kg (140 lb) of leaves and twigs daily. Forget About Disheartening Animal Penises. 2. human: in between 3. gorilla and orangutan: very faithful; Penis size (from largest to smallest): 1. human: longest and thickest penis (see page 33, Average Penis Size) 2. chimpanzee: in between 3. gorilla and orangutan: smallest (about an inch and a half when erected!) Length of Giraffe’s Other Parts of Body. The scientifically dubbed Oxygura vittata is known to extend its corkscrew-shaped appendage to “lasso” females. The animal's legs are also 6 feet long.Females grow up to 14 feet (4.3 m) tall and weigh up to 1,500 lbs. Good write up, don't know if I'm convinced. I've discussed this a lot with my friends, and we've never reached a solid conclusion. In 2007, a four-foot baculum was sold for $8,000 at an auction. Giraffes can kick a lion's skull in iirc, so unless the average human knows to break the Giraffe's knees while it isn't aggressive, I don't see the human winning this. This is called apophallation. Baby giraffes, known as calves, are about 6 feet tall just at birth! 385 to 410 kg. The average weight of a polar bear ranges from 849 to 904 lbs i.e. When it … It would either throw you off and trample you, or smack you against a tree. It came from a species of walrus that died out 12,000 years ago. Tapir: 19 InchesThis jungle pig-horse is classified as endangered, which makes sense. Pig: 18 InchesEver wonder where the term “hog” comes from? Animal penises sex novels are the future. Even Charles Darwin thought it was hot, marveling at the sheer size of barnacle cock. Erect giraffe penises are ytour feet long. 450 kg. The animal caused sensation and curiosity among the population since they were amazed by such large animal. I scaled the two bones correctly in the above image. The rooster will then flap its wings in excitement, dismount and strut away like Mr. Big Stuff. And keep doing this until you give up (giraffe wins) or it colapses. See, that's what I've said. You are indeed where you belong. Hyena: 7 InchesPsyche. If you’re reading this site, odds are you’re packing mule meat. Have you ever seen the rodeo? Argentine Lake Duck: 17 InchesThe Guinness World Record for longest penis among birds belongs to the Argentine Lake Duck. The West African giraffe is a subspecies of giraffe, distinguished from other types by its light, tan-colored spots. 6 feet. The average length of its tongue is 21 inches i.e. I doubt a human could squeeze hard enough, even if he could stay there. Jocelyn The Giraffe - 22 Inch Tall Stuffed Animal Plush - by Tiger Tale Toys 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,065. Girafffes fight with their necks and as such they are hugely muscular. Green Sea Turtle: 12 InchesThe green sea turtle can weigh as much as 700 pounds. And at their size, it would need to be a perfect shot to take them down. Chase the giraffe around. No weapons? If you love to imagine the planet-exploding battles of the fictional gods who will never be, taking pointless knowledge gathered from a life spent reading and gaming and swinging it like a gladiator's sword in discussions on reddit... then welcome home, my friend. The larger genitalia of the chimp is due to sperm competition. As you can see, even they are capable of knowing when they’re up to naughty business. Well, taken from personal experience, you can lure the giraffe's face to within arm's reach by placing a piece of lettuce or carrot between your teeth. Sure, if you hit them in the heart or lungs, they'll die, but not immediately. Giraffes are the tallest living animals in the world, according to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park. Like the gorilla, the orangutan isn’t working with much. I doubt your little manlet friend could choke him out if he tried. The only way it’s able to procreate is via a process called “spermcasting,” which involves casting its sperm into the salty sea and waiting for a female to catch it between her legs. Interesting to note that this mole-like animal, which is native to every continent on the planet besides Antarctica, has a penis only slightly larger than Bono’s. [2,3] In human societies, blood pressure seems to … You cannot deal with the range and speed of those giant hooves. At least it should. Imagine a rodeo on a horse, capable of doing this: (Sorry about the shitty video). 8. The size of its heart is about 0.6 meter i.e. Compared to the giraffe, human neck length is pretty paltry, to say the least. To maintain adequate blood flow to the brain, giraffes have developed extremely high blood pressure, with estimates ranging from 180 to 300 mg Hg. According to this new study, there are 4 distinct species: Masai giraffe (G. tippelskirchi) Northern giraffe (G. camelopardalis) 3 subspecies No wonder they’re always pissed. Also, jumping on the giraffe is pointless. With such a massive body, it makes sense that th… That’s a clitoris. Male Giraffes can reach up to 18 feet tall, and females can reach a maximum of 14 feet tall. The only way you might beat it is by exhausting it - make it run for several hours until it collapses. Assume that the setting is a zoo, so you have the ability to climb up a rock formation or a tree to get at its head/neck, and also assume the giraffe is … Giraffes also wield not one, not two, but four stomachs! According to this study, there are 4 giraffe species, with an additional 5 subspecies. You're not gonna choke a giraffe. While the dolphin's brain weight is just above that of the human brain at 3.5 pounds, the brain makes up about 1.19 percent of the total body mass, slightly less than that of a human. The giraffe has an extremely high blood pressure (280/180 mm Hg), which is twice that found in humans. They achieve this remarkable stature predominantly through their exceptionally long legs and incredible neck which can itself measure 2 metres- 7 feet tall. Assume that the setting is a zoo, so you have the ability to climb up a rock formation or a tree to get at its head/neck, and also assume the giraffe is initially non-aggressive, but becomes aggressive once attacked. Sharp object available: Still slim chances, but improved. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the whowouldwin community. Other giraffes have darker markings. They also have baby dicks. $21.99. Giraffe Vs Giraffe Deadliest Fight Ever Seen - Nat Geo Wild. It has the largest penis in the animal kingdom proportional to its body size — a 50-to-1 ratio. Compare human vs Elephant vs giraffe vs Ark vs Ark height vs zebra vs Black Rhino vs fox visually. This will allow you to with some luck strike it's eyes or something vulnerable and let it destroy itself while it wonders where you have gone. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. The pace of the giraffe is an amble, though when pursued it can run extremely fast. Those necks are seriously muscular, and they're built to take hits from other giraffes. Hell, even some short range weapons wouldn't help all that much, Without Fire or tools, Giraffes take it every time. The lion (Panthera leo), also known as African lion, is a very big carnivorous feline that roams sub-Saharan Africa's many savannas, plains, woodlands, semideserts, forests, dense brush, scrublands and grasslands. Your friend would end the fight falling from 15 feet in the air and finding a big giraffe dick in his ass. When it’s not flinging its ding-a-ling like Spider-Man shooting his web, it’s assumed the Argentine Lake Duck dangles its penis in the water like bait and tackle to attract small prey. It snickers and points, boasting twice the size. Giraffe, (genus Giraffa), any of four species in the genus Giraffa of long-necked cud-chewing hoofed mammals of Africa, with long legs and a coat pattern of irregular brown patches on a light background. And the popular Rothschild's Giraffe is essentially eliminated as a species or subspecies. with no weapons I do not see the human coming out of this alive. A tiny stubby nub. (272 kilograms). 340 to 658 kg. Giraffe Giraffe vs. Human They eat shrubs, fruits and grass, with this fiber based diet they need a four chambered stomach, making them a ruminant animal. It lets its noodle wave around in the sea like a lonely tentacle, and the female barnacle opens up its egg-bearing cavity to let it in. Sneak jump on to its back and quickly tie a zip tie around its neck as tight as possible then haul ass. Males have thicker horns than females, and are taller. (680 kg), while males grow up to 18 feet (5.5 m) tall and weigh up to 3,000 lbs. The heart can beat up to 170 beats per minute when a giraffe is running, but a resting/normal heart rate is around 40-90 beats per minute. They can weigh as much as 155 lbs. The only exception to this rule is the giraffe, which has evolved to have an elongated neck. Whatever the case, those seven vertebrae dwarf the ones found in our bodies. This tool helps you to compare visually sizes of different objects. Shrew: 0.2 InchesThis rodent packs a pathetic 0.2 inches. Does your friend realise that when two male giraffes fight they beat the living shit out of eachother with their heads? Animal penises man, a new horizon to make us feel inadequate. As another result of the long neck, a giraffe's blood has a long journey to travel. Silverback Gorilla: 1 InchGorillas are giant, marauding, nightmarish beasts that can break your legs like twigs. Affiliate Disclosure: Evolve Media LLC, and its owned and operated websites may receive a small commission from the proceeds of any product(s) sold through affiliate and direct partner links. Even then, it'll probably just look down at the strange little ape punching at it's ankle and think "oi, stop it you.". Towering above its neighbors on the savanna, the giraffe is a mind-boggling feat of natural engineering. Edit: Forgot to say no weapons, just bare hands. In fact, each giraffe neck vertebra may be as long as 10 inches (25 centimeters) [source: San Diego Zoo]. Curly and noodle-like, resembling its tail, the male pig has a notoriously impressive member. 53 cm. Native to temperate regions in the southern hemisphere, the tapir has a “prehensile” penis that is used to grip and grasp females who would prefer not to limp for an entire afternoon. Scaffolds were assembled using SOAPdenovo2 (v2.04) 57, setting k-mer size to 91 for the giraffe data set and 81 for the okapi data set, and enabling repeat resolution (-R … Assume that the setting is a zoo, so you have the ability to climb up a rock formation or a tree to get at its head/neck, and also assume the giraffe is … It has the largest penis in the animal kingdom proportional to its body size — a 50-to-1 ratio. Learn more: How Much Does A Polar Bear Weigh The following animals defy the laws of nature in the dick department. The size of its feet is 12 inches i.e. As you can guess, that doesn't exactly make for a light load to tote. Assuming it doesn't just smash you with its face. The tapir boasts a jaw-dropping 19 inches. But my friend is confident if he could get up high, attack from above, avoiding the dangerous legs, and get to its neck that he could choke it out. Giraffe Vs Giraffe Deadliest Fight Ever Seen - Nat Geo Wild. Behold, ye pee-pee voyeurs of the Internet, a walrus going to town on itself. The plus side? How Tall is a Giraffe – Giraffe Height Video Equally puzzling is that during sex, sometimes the penises of these slimy creatures get caught in the vagina, and the female chews it completely off, severing it for life. 0/10 for the human. The reason for this is an excess of prenatal hormone androgen given during pregnancy, which eventually creates what scientists call a female “pseudo-penis.” Female hyenas have to give poo, pee and birth through this one-inch canal. Compare human vs Elephant vs giraffe vs Ark vs Ark height vs zebra vs Black Rhino vs fox visually. Dolphins, known as highly intelligent creatures, have a brain size and brain-mass-to-body-mass ratio much like that of humans. Giraffe tails are highly prized by many African cultures and are used in good-luck bracelets, fly whisks, and even thread for sewing or stringing beads. Normal weight range of an adult polar bear is from 750 to 1450 lbs i.e. While 18 inches is the longest pig penis ever observed in nature, their genitalia usually hovers around the 9- to 12-inch range. The giraffe browses on the twigs of trees, preferring plants of the Mimosa genus; but it appears that it can, without inconvenience, live on other vegetable food. thi" Bird penis in flaccid state curled up inside the cloaca. At over five meters high, the planet's tallest land animal has evolved unique mechanisms to meet the metabolic demands of maintaining its huge skeleton. The Human Neck Anatomy of the human Spine. Giraffe guide: species facts, lifespan and habitat. However, my friends and I have had discussions about how to take down a giraffe quickly and easily. The average length of both giraffe’s neck and legs is 1.8 meters i.e. (Giraffe skin patterns are like human fingerprints – no two giraffes are identical.) when their born! With the power of extreme height, even a giraffe’s legs tower above most humans at approximately 6 feet in length! In terms of evolution, there was never a need for the male gorilla to develop an impressive meat stick because females live in a harem and are given no choice on the matter. Giraffe's Size, Height, Speed and Weight. To commence the sex, the female puts her butt right up to the male chimp’s face and waits for it to get a huge, throbbing three-inch power tool. Hansa Toys Life Size Giraffe Stuffed Animal 3.6 out of 5 stars 16. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Chimpanzee: 3 InchesThe chimpanzee laughs at the gorilla behind its back. The longest elephant penis can grow up to six and a long. I imagine a giraffe would be able to thrash it's head quite a bit. It just comes with the territory. Male pigs are also known to orgasm for up to 30 minutes, adding insult to injury if you’re a gilt. (1,360 kg). Team Giraffe. (not comic book standards, think marathon runner.) 30.5 cm. This is actually a solid strategy, as humans have superior endurance and low energy cost for moving about. Humans Differences We are omnivores, eating anything from plants to meat, with this diet we do not need more than a one The consensus? Suffice it to say, the descendants of this primitive tusked sea cow got the lucky gene.
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